Austin's Lesbo BBQ

Hello all.

I've returned from the so-called "Chi-town"...I've been back and forth to Chicago my entire life and this year was certainly the first time I've ever heard the city referred to as "Chi-town". I guess I'll have to accept it.

I had a good time over Thanksgiving and hopefully all of you peeps did too.

I'm sorry, I'm not feeling all that talkative right now...I believe my computer has finally had enough of me. I figure I should have paid attention to that burning smell sooner...but, low and behold, I didn't. SO, now I have a plastic box that's worth about as much as a toenail clipping. I'm going to work on getting it up and running, but the future looks bleak.

Unfortunately, delivering pizzas doesn't quite cover the cost of a new typing box, so I may be making myself scarce here at the BBQ.

Don't miss me too much. I'll be back...I promise.

O.k.

This is your final warning: Keep your hands off my shit while I'm gone. Oh, and no yetis in the house either. I really mean it this time.

Cat B has been assigned narc duty for the next five days...and don't think she won't enforce her power! If she catches you playing that "kitty in the fridge, kitty in the oven" game with Bojangles again, we're seriously going to be over...NO, REALLY! I mean it this time!

I'll be back at the end of the week...enjoy your Hungry Man chopped and formed turkey and fixin's on Thursday...and I'll notice if you eat my one can of jellied cranberry sauce, so put the thought out of your mind...

I'm out...

Time for some more vacation time for the Mel-a-rific...because I just don't get enough time off.

Expect post cards...all of you with addresses anyway. I can't send you stuff if you're still living in that box.

I'm headed out to sweet home Chicago bright and early tomorrow morning...granted the nonstop torrential thunderstorms let up long enough for the plane to get off the ground.

Chicago, Chicago, Chicago...where the people talk funny...where the cigarettes are called squares...where Oprah calls home...where the snow is always dirty.

I like the place ok.

I'll be spending Thanksgiving with my giant extended family...most likely with no access to computers, beer, or cigarettes...damnit. So wish me luck.

So, other than that, what have I been up to lately? Let's see....

On Friday night, I decided to get back at my crappy night at work by going out and pounding 7 drinks in an hour. Yeah! That showed them! Well, it was more like...a bad idea. There are now some incriminating photos of me passed out on a friend's apartment floor...

On top of Friday's fun filled evening, I nearly lost my computer this weekend. I came home on Saturday to find the poor thing sounding like a hard-ridden 76' Chrysler Cordoba*. I used my minimal computer hardware knowledge to strip the thing apart and found out that I needed a new CPU fan. Of course, I did all this dismantling last night after a few beers...there's no better way to problem solve. It was mostly the beer that was assuring me that the fan truly was the culprit. Fun times.

So, I went to visit the friendly guys over at the computer parts store (as a side note, I like these guys because they're all punk rock and nice...not condescending and lacking in people skills) and got myself a new CPU fan. Punk rock computer guy even gave it to me for free! That made my day.

Now that I've put the part back in and after a small "hard drive crashing" scare...I'm back in business.

There's only one problem now...my computer is emitting a smell similar to a Goo Goo Dolls album set ablaze by an unattended Bath and Body Works® Freesia candle.* I'm choosing to ignore the putrid smell until I actually see the flames coming from my computer. I mean, someone has to get hurt before any action is taken, right?

*I'm all about the similes today.

...because I got what I asked for.

I've been trying to work more in general lately. Begging...pleading...bargaining with my co-workers and bosses. I had the day off today. But, at 10:50 am, I was called by one of my fellow pizza deliverers who had a crippling hangover...can I work in 10 minutes? Sure. Why not?

I was out of there pretty quickly...about two hours or so. I filled up the rest of my afternoon with mundane shit. And then...I received another phone call...can I work from 7 to 12:30 tonight? Why? Oh. You want to get a head start on working on tomorrow's hangover. I see. Sure. Why not?

So. I got what I asked for. I also got a full schedule next week...despite the fact that I'm going to be in Chicago Tuesday through Sunday. I told my boss, "Thanks for thinking about me, but neither me nor my clone will be available those days."...don't worry, he has a sense of humor...and I told everybody repeatedly, starting about two months ago, that I was going out of town that week. Go service industry. Did anybody ever think for one moment that the service industry was paying attention?...because if you did, you're wrong. Whether you're an employee or customer...it doesn't matter.

If you ever start to think that they may be paying attention, just remember that there's a 96% chance that you're dealing with someone with a crippling hangover from the night before.

In other news, I've been feeling like a slave to my cell phone for the past week and a half. I've been following my minute usage scrupulously...noting that I've come dangerously close to my limit this month.

How sad is it when next month's cell minutes are the only reason to anticipate the arrival of a Friday night?

I wish my phone played a tinny and irritating version of Captain and Tennille's "Love Will Keep Us Together" when the minutes turned...I don't know why...I just think it would be the perfect song to further exemplify how aggravating it is to base your life around something as stupid as cell phone minutes.

Whatever.

Just like the white winged dove...sings a song sounds like she singin'...ooh ooh ooh....Just like the white winged dove...sings a song sounds like she singing'...ooh baby ooh ooh.

Sorry. I just had to get that out.

For some reason, tonight I decided to take a close look at all the stickers that I've placed on my CD carousel...I ran out of available space for new stickers on this thing a few years ago, so the stickers basically encompass my musical tastes/experiences between 1997-2001.

I haven't even thought about most of these bands for many a year now...but it's cool to reminisce about how these bands that I went to see helped shape my feelings for music. Even though I don't necessarily follow any particular genre of music anymore, every show that I've ever seen has slightly added to my feelings about the limitless possibilities of music appreciation.

It's so neat. Once I realized that there was no need to restrict myself to one type of music...one scene...one group of people...I felt so liberated. I feel no shame in enjoying any of the music that hits a chord with me...I don't care who I'm around or talking to...no shame is had. I likes what I likes.

Ahhhh...enough of another one of my reoccurring themes already...

Oh wait! Here's another one....bartender's been looking for my blog lately...Let's all be sneaky together and not tell her where it is...I've had a fun time telling bartender how she's a reoccurring character in this here place...I mean, come on, it's bound to happen when you're the one feeding me the fuel of my creativity...

Ever since 1991...anytime it rains in November...that fucking song goes through my head. It's bad enough that "Welcome to the Jungle" goes through my head anytime I park too close to a bush or tree...

Anyway...the camping trip was great. I wish everybody could've been there. My favorite thing about camping is that there are always great stories to tell...even when the events should be perceived as negative. Take from the following examples:

-Noisy boy scout neighbors that morph into ecstasy-rolling teenagers after midnight.

-Tents pitched on an incline that appears slight during the pitching, but becomes far more obvious when you and your belongings are all in the lower corner of the 4 person tent...

-First time field tests of a tent's water repelling abilities.

Oh. There's more. Maybe some of you commentators can add to the list...until then...

Like I said in my previous post, I spent a peaceful afternoon last Sunday at the Texas State cemetery. I've been meaning to check this place out the entire time I've lived in Austin...and I'm glad I finally did. It has to be one of the more beautiful places in the city. So...here are some pictures I took and some comments to go along with them...is it wrong to poke fun at the expense of the dead?

This isn't the place to be if Texas vanity angers you...I believe there were at least 211 of these things in the 4 block radius...I took a nap underneath that tree for a bit...pleasant.



This guy brought the first settlers to Texas in the 1830's...unless you count the Native Americans as the first settlers...but they were slaughtered shortly thereafter...so no worries.


Just when you thought the tales of the albino squirrel were all a facade...and hey, I made an A on that test I took yesterday! That test...that I made up...in my head. All you non-UT people will have no idea what I'm talking about.



This is what my nickname would be if my first name were Nary...


Should there be any other type?


I'd just like to say...I knew he was dead! There's something about that guy that just never set right with me...


Lots o' Confederates...all of them dead


More pretty light and tree pictures...I took this one from that hill that I napped on.


This was just pretty.


Ok...this has nothing to do with the cemetery...but this is what happens when bartender takes my comments about how I love the oranges in my Sunshine Wheat a little too seriously...can I have some beer with my fruit cocktail?

Howdy. My apologies for not posting the past couple of days...nothing particularly noteworthy has gone on in my life this week. Just the same old shit...staying up late, sleeping during the day and then doing it all over again.

In other news, the McRib is back! Some of you may have already heard my goings on about this capricious sandwich...but for some reason, I get all fired up when it returns. So, I purchased a value meal yesterday from that evil corporation...and ate it and enjoyed it...mock rib-rack and all. I can't help but think that my fascination with the McRib is based mostly on its dodgy nature. You never know when it's going to be there for you...when it leaves, will it ever come back?...does it love me as much as I love it? Ahhh...it's so dreamy...

Oh yeah. Last Sunday, I went and hung out at the state cemetery. No, I'm not that morbid...I wasn't dressed in black and chanting...but rather I wanted a nice place to hang out outside without being surrounded by ass-loads of people. It ended up being an awesome outside experience! Anyway, I got some pictures and I'm going to see if I can successfully post them.

Yay. Camping tomorrow. Back on Sunday...wish our team of fearless ladies good luck in battling the harsh Texas winter elements.

Rocktober ended right?...did I miss it somewhere? Gah...I think it's Monday night, but it's been feeling like Tuesday all day...for most normal people, this would be a good thing, but for us service industry people, it's just plain confusing.

This is the product of staying up too late...having too much fun...and feeling guilty about it while at the same time realizing that I'm having the time of my life. Oh, by the way, I need a new job...I know I've mentioned this before, but, any suggestions? Unfortunately, the time of my life doesn't come without a price tag...if it did, it'd be ideal.

I'm so very satisfied about everything in my life right now except for my money. I figure that I've grasped the concept of "money isn't everything" to the fullest extent...I fucking know it isn't everything...in fact, it is so last on my list that it has started coming full circle like that crazy snake biting its own tail drawing that we were all exposed to by the third grade.

I said it once, and I'll say it again...stupid life.

So, it seems like the whole country is having a heyday running with this anti-gay marriage thing. I realize that this has been an issue for a while now, but is it just me or did lots of things happen in the past three days?

I've been working on coming to terms with these things over the past few years...like how my dad will never walk me down the aisle or how the rest of my family will never celebrate my love for another person...kinda sucks. But, I've never been the delusional marriage type anyway...I'd probably end up in Vegas...

But, what really pisses me off are the people in this country who ARE legally allowed to marry and procreate. This is one of the many reasons I can't watch daytime tv. People who don't know who their baby's daddy is...people who marry out of spite or because they got pregnant or just because they feel like it's what they're supposed to do. Love and respect isn't even slightly necessary for straight people to marry. Maybe these marriages whose "sanctities" are being protected should be pointed out more often.

As for me, I should get more active about supporting the fight to make our country a more fair and logical place.

Hmmm....yeah. I should.

Well, I hope that's not the case anyway...and I hope I'm not dealing with any brittle hearts...

Do you think my roommate will notice if I smoke in my room with the door closed and incense burning? Yeah. Probably. But I'm going to do it anyway and risk the scolding...

So...I hate the idea that I'm messing with people feelings...because I'm a pretty straight-forward person...someone who doesn't like their own feelings messed with and therefore attempts to be wholesome in their own actions. And that's about all I can do, right? I can't control other people feelings or actions...I can only control my initial actions and reactions. Go with the flow...if you will...the word "action" has been over used in this paragraph...on to other topics...kinda.

So. A new old president, eh? How do all us civil liberty lovin' people feel about that? This is sort of like giving a second chance to an ex. No really, baby. Things will be different this time around, I promise! Well, I did my part...and all I can hope for is the best and that maybe the future won't be as bleak as it currently looks.

As for my life today, as miniscule as it may seem in comparison to the rest of our world's problems, it's been o.k...I had fun skating to Warrent's "Cherry Pie" and helping a stumbly drunk birthday friend home...I put in a whole hour and a half's worth of work for the week...hence realizing that I'm quite broke and that my part-time job really doesn't cut it when it come to paying my bills and stuff. But, I'm having such a great time being a full-time slacker! Why does this world have to be so cruel? If only there was a good paying job for a mouth-harp enthusiast who excels at trivial musical knowledge and refrigerator organization. My resume is available by request...oh, I also need to be outside at least 6 hours a day.

God. I make myself appear more appealing by every post! Ok...what if I start ranting about how great a favorite band is? You know the B-52's? Yeah...they're the best. If you don't think so, check out their very first album...it's tops. If you don't feel emotinally moved to break it down to "Dance This Mess Around" then there's something wrong with you...like one of my friends said when Mr. Fred Schnieder chants "DANCE THIS MESS AROUND!"..."It's like your gay band director telling you how you should play your instrument"...So, doesn't that make you feel a lot better?

Rocktober (ok...I know it's lame, but I've had it stuck in my head for the past month) is over...time to take a break from the music and the partying. Ok. You're right. Who am I kidding? But, I'd like to think that this month will be a little bit calmer than the past...so I can gear up for the Christmas madness.

Speaking of which...I saw two Christmas commercials yesterday...dear God! Let's not waste any time!....

As for my Halloween, it pretty much encompassed four whole days...today is the first day that I can claim any sort of lucidity. This is a good thing, because as we ALL know, it's election day! I voted on Friday. If there's anyone out there that doesn't know that today is the last day to vote, they must be living in a small, dark box somewhere in rural Montana. I've been asked twice today if I remembered to vote...each time I wanted to answer with "Oh. Is that today? I could've sworn that was happening sometime next week..." But, I know there are probably plenty of people out there that are just that out of it...so, I'll lay off.

I also get to spend this exciting evening at a roller skating party. My friend's birthday is tomorrow...so it's time to strap on those wobbly, smelly rented skates...this will allow me to adequately eat shit under the disco ball when I try to backwards skate to Tone Loc.

I hope they have a TV there so I can watch the election coverage at the same time...