Austin's Lesbo BBQ

Hey.

What's up?

Oh? Me? Not much. Same as always, I guess...

Well...there's actually something that I need to admit...I didn't really quit smoking...um, I mean, in the traditional sense. I just quit buying my own packs. But, then again, I quit buying my own cigarettes back in July...after that, I just bought the Connecticuteer HER cigarettes and then stole a few. And now...I smoke almost any cigarette that I can get my hands on...almost any cigarette....Kool's...Camel Unfiltered...Virginia Slims...I have no shame. Granted, I still don't smoke nearly as much as I used to...I don't seem to find myself voluntarily inhaling toxic fumes more than once a day.

You know, I think I was about 9 years old (or so...maybe 10) when I smoked my first cigarette. Of course, I didn't inhale it...I had no idea what I was doing...but, my mom smoked and she often sent me to the corner store to pick her up a pack of Smokes (this was the actual brand name of the $.99 cigarettes)...she bribed me to do this by giving me some extra money so I could buy some Garbage Pail Kids...so, without any question, I was sold! At the time, I didn't really have any interest in smoking them anyway.

But, one summer, my curiosity got the best of me...I took one of my mom's Smokes and in the afternoon, when I was alone (...yes...not ONLY did I buy my mom cigarettes, but I was also a latchkey kid who was left to my own devices on many occasions...oh, and don't even get me started on the shenanigans that went down...)..I took a magnifying glass and caught the sun in just the right position that was needed to light me a death stick...you know, I think I even had access to matches, but I just wanted to see if the whole magnifying glass thing worked...

It did.

I puffed on it...and then I put it out because I was afraid of getting caught...by who? I don't know....a neighbor...one of the tattle-tell neighborhood kids...my dad materializing from thin air...I have no idea. I guess that's what guilt will do to ya.

So...that was my first voluntary experience with smoking...

Six years later, I had taken it up as a hobby with the rest of the, um, rebellious kids...I use this term lightly, because we had nothing to rebel against, nothing to prove, and we weren't bad for smoking....when I see 16-year-old smoking now, I can't help but laugh because I see myself in them...and they have no idea what kind of annoying situations they're walking right into...AND, um, wearing black and smoking cigarettes doesn't make you different...or scary...or special...you're going to have to try harder than that, sorry.

Yeah.

On a similar, yet completely unrelated, note....I've been invited to attended the school district's substitute teacher orientation! Woooo! If I do good, I may be approved to fill in for the real teachers at a variety of schools around town...

Excellent...the time is near for the Homosexual Agenda * to rise up and make it's way into America's education system and blanket the minds of innocent youths...

Ok. That, in itself, is probably not a good thing for me to publish to the world while I'm trying to get a real job...no, not just a real job, but a job in education in Texas, for God's sake.

But, alas, it's not true...I'm pretty damn unbiased when it comes to assiting others to think for themselves...um, I think...I try, anyway...but, who can tell?

*I, personally, still prefer my own Homosexual Agenda...I follow it daily, as one should...if we ever plan to DOMINATE SOCIETY! RISE UP! RISE UP!