3.04.2007
Why I will name all my future pets after stoic celebrities.
Earlier this evening, I was on my way to the laundry room when I passed by one of my neighbors as she walked her dog in the grassy area by the pool. There is nothing particularly special in this...except for that I've seen this neighbor before and I remembered that the name of the little smashed nosed Pug mix was Oprah. As I cruised by, my internal dialogue casually commented, "Oh, look at that...Oprah's taking a shit in the bushes." Strangely, this didn't actually strike me as funny...immediately.
Afterward, Ladyfriend and I decided that all of my future pets should be named, of course with FULL respect, after renowned celebrities. The first two recognitions will go to, none other than, Alex Trebek and Charlton Heston. So, after the two pets are christened, we can hope for ten to fifteen years of comments along the following lines:
1. Awww...it's so cute when Charlton Heston snuggles up to me like that.
2. Um, I'm pretty sure Alex Trebek's balls are dropping.
3. I've been spending all week trying to get Charlton Heston to use the litter box.
4. Alex Trebek is slowly learning to stop peeing on the couch; He's getting better at scratching the door when he needs to go out.
5. I think Charlton Heston has the mange.
6. Sorry, when Alex Trebek gets excited....he pees a little.
7. Alex Trebek! Get your nose out his crotch!
8. Every morning, Charlton Heston wakes me up by standing on my chest and licking my nose.
9. Who's a good boy?? Whoooooo's a good boy?!? Alex Trebek is!! Oh, yes he isssy is!!
10. I think it's kinda gross that Charlton Heston feels the need lick himself clean while sitting on my lap.
11. Alex Trebek has GOT to stop nosing threw the garbage when I'm at work.
AND last, but not least
12. While it is slightly cute, I do wish Charlton Heston would stop killing birds and mice and leaving them as gifts on my bed.
Feel free to add to the list...the possibilities are endless.
I must sleep now...I need to prepare myself for the inevitable battles with middle school children tomorrow. They're merciless.
Afterward, Ladyfriend and I decided that all of my future pets should be named, of course with FULL respect, after renowned celebrities. The first two recognitions will go to, none other than, Alex Trebek and Charlton Heston. So, after the two pets are christened, we can hope for ten to fifteen years of comments along the following lines:
1. Awww...it's so cute when Charlton Heston snuggles up to me like that.
2. Um, I'm pretty sure Alex Trebek's balls are dropping.
3. I've been spending all week trying to get Charlton Heston to use the litter box.
4. Alex Trebek is slowly learning to stop peeing on the couch; He's getting better at scratching the door when he needs to go out.
5. I think Charlton Heston has the mange.
6. Sorry, when Alex Trebek gets excited....he pees a little.
7. Alex Trebek! Get your nose out his crotch!
8. Every morning, Charlton Heston wakes me up by standing on my chest and licking my nose.
9. Who's a good boy?? Whoooooo's a good boy?!? Alex Trebek is!! Oh, yes he isssy is!!
10. I think it's kinda gross that Charlton Heston feels the need lick himself clean while sitting on my lap.
11. Alex Trebek has GOT to stop nosing threw the garbage when I'm at work.
AND last, but not least
12. While it is slightly cute, I do wish Charlton Heston would stop killing birds and mice and leaving them as gifts on my bed.
Feel free to add to the list...the possibilities are endless.
I must sleep now...I need to prepare myself for the inevitable battles with middle school children tomorrow. They're merciless.
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Alex Trebek and Charlton Heston keep getting into little squabbles... and it's so sad when Alex Trebek makes those horrible screetching noises, Charlton Heston shows no mercy... we may need to seperate them when we go to bed at night.
Actually, in college some friends of mine took in a stray and named her Oprah.
Good times.
Oh, and may I suggest Sean Connery as a foil for your Trebek kitty? You could fight them for money.
Good times.
Oh, and may I suggest Sean Connery as a foil for your Trebek kitty? You could fight them for money.
How about, "Awww...isn't that cuuute? Alex Trebek and Charlton Heston are snuggling. I think they like each other."
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