Austin's Lesbo BBQ

It took long enough, but I finally made the stupid transition from Blogger to Google ruled Blogger. As far as I can tell, there's no difference...except that when trying to get to my blog for the past month I've been directed to sites that won't actually take me where I wanna go. It doesn't really matter. I changed it and now I'm sure that I'm connected and there will be no blindness, stumbling or falling (that's a far-fetched early nineties reference....ignore it at will.)

In other news, I've been confined indoors for the past week as I participate in a clinic trial for an up and coming drug....of some sort. Several people have requested that I blog about my experiences as a human lab rat, but...honestly...despite the HOARDS of free time that I have while shut in at the clinic, I don't really feel the drive to write about it. I think it's the lack of caffeine. But, I figured I'd try to get out an overview and then maybe if I feel like it (as I will be here until Monday), I can add on. Right then. Let's go.

1) What kind of people participate in these trials?

This has probably been the most common question. My father assumed that they were mostly students. I, on the other hand, had no assumptions upon entering, so it has left me to soak it alllllllllll up with an open mind. But, as I've found out, it takes all kinds...and by all kinds, I mean plenty of douche bags, several people who obviously lied about their psychiatric history to gain admittance, a plethora of individuals looking to "hook up" and then, of course, me...uummm, I don't think I fit into any of the previous categories, but I'm sure there's a spot for me somewhere.

If one thing is certain, I have definitely met some characters in here. Some are dynamic and likable and others, well...let's just say that I have my ways of being friendly, but still keeping to myself. Some of the more interesting characters include:

-the guy who repeats nearly everything he hears. At first, I thought he was mocking the teevee or other people, but then after a couple days of spending time with him I realized that he, in fact, was compulsively repeating every word his mind could get a grasp on. Strangely, he doesn't do this when you're having a conversation with him, only when he's passively listening. Weird.

-the 53 year old man who has bleach blond hair, sports acid-wash jeans and talks loudly and assuredly about any inane topic that any uninterested person could possibly imagine.

-some guy who tries to start cocky, idiotic arguments. For example, during lunch yesterday, I was privy to this mind boggling query: "Why is it that it's okay to show naked babies on television but not naked adults? It's a double standard, if you ask me...think about it." Later that evening, I overheard him informing his fellow poker players that he could count cards or fix the game, but he chooses to play fairly so that everyone may enjoy the hand at play.

-the oversexed lesbian who spends approximately ten hours a day on the phone talking dirty to her girlfriend....and, no, she does not feel the need to do this privately nor is she remotely cute.

I'll stop there for now because I could probably go on for some time if I didn't....at this point, I will add that I am not pained by the people around me; I enjoy a nice mix of personalities for my own entertainment.

2) What sort of activities are you engaged in while you are at the clinic?

Well....all sorts!!! It strongly reminds me of rehab (...I mean, what I know about it...) with no visitations and less talking about your feelings and abilities to cope. When I first entered the study, we were given an orientation and a clipboard containing lots of papers with our procedures and the exact time to report for them. EVERYTHING here is scheduled...on the day I took the medication (dosed), there were blood draws every hour (actually, every 15 minutes in the first hour) and the proceeded to collect our pee for the next 72 hours. Yes. I had to pee in a bucket-like thing every single time I went....

On the fun side....well, there isn't much of a "fun" side. Most of the day is spent in complete idleness. I've chosen to read, be on the computer constantly, finish up (yet another) Peace Corps questionnaire, and sleep. Many people have chosen to watch movies or teevee all day. That kind of stuff makes me feel brain dead, so I've only been doing it at night.

Ooooh! I almost forgot to mention the activities!! This is the part that reminds me of rehab. Everyday, there's a whiteboard in the cafeteria that post the day's activity. Today, it was Texas Hold 'em (I didn't play because I knew the aforementioned douche bag would mostly likely be present), yesterday it was arts and crafts, and the day before it was Bingo. I can only imagine what tomorrow holds...

3) What are the facilities like?

They're quite posh, in that hospital kind of way...two big screen teevees, a pool table, a computer room with comfy chairs and dorm style accommodations with four sets of bunk beds to a room.

4) What are the down sides?

Well, that depends on your perspective. There's always an element of risk to taking drugs still in the experimental phase, we're not allowed to go outside...which leads to much stir-craziness, you should be highly tolerant of all sorts of people and their annoying habits, and some say the food...but, I like cafeteria food.

I'll have to end there for now, as my scheduled dinner time is close at hand. I'm looking forward to a nice meal and a beer next week!!