Austin's Lesbo BBQ

There's some things that I know about myself...for sure.

1. The more I drive, the more I bite my fingernails. If I don't work for a week, I don't drive...my nails get out of control! I've gnawed at my hands for as long as I've had teeth, so it's not like I have nail clippers handy (no pun) or anything. So, now I find myself biting them solely because they're long. How annoying.

2. The more I duties/obligations I have, the more I stress out...the more I stress out, the more I procrastinate. Why? I don't know. I very much realize that if I would just doooooo the stuff that's on my plate, it would be quite a-load-off.

On top of this...whenever I'm faced with decisions, I generally come up with about 19 outcomes in my head before I'm ready to pick a path. Soo...

After my Peace Corps interview a few weeks back, I've moved on to the medical clearance stage of the incredibly long process....and here's where the stress=procrastination part comes in.

I started calling around to ask questions and collecting some of my more recent medical records last week....and then I stopped. I made a couple of appointments for next week and one with a community clinic that requires me to have my employer provide me with a letter stating why I'm not insured through the company.

I can tell you why: Because they could really give a shit about their employees!

Okay. Here's another reason why I'm procrastinating...I kinda got into it last week with some of the higher-ups at the pizza place. I've told this story eight thousand times now, so let's just say that I expressed my dissatisfaction with the way the workers were being treated in a couple of wordy emails.

So, if I have to go get one of these letters, that means I have to face The Man in person. I'm not really afraid of getting fired or yelled at or anything...I just don't really wanna. I got the apology I was looking for and that's that.

I also have to get a counselor to fill in some nice forms that say I have my "issues" under control...mainly, all those occasional panic attack that I've gotten for the majority of my life. But, honestly...I I'm not too worried about crippling anxiety at this point. I just have to get a few doctors to agree with me!

AND THEN...I have to get dental clearance. Here's where there's more possible complications...I have to find a dentist that will *agree* with me about my wisdom teeth being at home in my mouth.

I don't have insurance. I don't want them out. They seem to be just fine where they are...right?

Let's switch gears here for a second. I also have the idea in my head of getting another job....still...yes...I haven't made any moves in this direction yet.

Whine, whine...bitch, bitch. I don't wanna!

Right now, I pretty much have the option of picking up yet another Austin shit job. Learning, working hard, and proving my worth for $7.50 an hour. Granted, I don't make much more (or even THAT much sometimes) at my current job...but, they also don't make me do anything.

I show up late, I read...I spent 4 hours sewing patches on my pants yesterday. The irony here lies in the fact that I could readily just buy a NEW pair of pants if I had a better job. But, you know...waste not, want not. I like these pants.

I don't want a full time job because I'm planning on substitute teaching again in the fall..but, that won't get me a paycheck until the end of September. So what am I living off of until then? You don't even want to know.

So, let's recap: 1. Peace Corps medical and dental requirements and my-uninsured, procrastinating-self. 2. Shit job and it's inadequacies...and my laziness on finding something similar or slightly better. 3. I'll give you a cookie if you can tell me where the title for this entry came from.

I'm going to work now...and then I'm going to walk two miles to try to settle my mind.