Austin's Lesbo BBQ

Hello all.

Please forgive me for my lack of consistent posts...wait...No. It's my prerogative, damn it! Find something else to look at during your first hour at work...sheeesh.

Well...my asshole-ness aside, I really haven't been doing much of anything lately...therefore, not really inspiring me to write anything.

ALSO...I knew that I'd be coming here this week, leaving me with mucho spare time for reflection and blog writing.

Reflection! The BEST type of flection, if you ask me...

So "here"...is where I am...New Orleans.

Several months ago, I signed up with Habitat for Humanity...I was looking for a way to help out in the post-Katrina Gulf Coast. And, for me, financial contributions just don't do it....not to mention they're really hard for me to part with in mass quantities...so, I thought I might be able to contribute some sweat instead. (Don't get me wrong...ALL the monetary donations are EXTREMELY important!)

And of course...there's my selfish reasons too...I'm always interested in seeing and experiencing things first hand...and, um, I like to help too...really, I do.

Ok...so the story goes. I arrived here just about noon (Sunday) after a 7 hour drive through south-east Texas and coastal Louisiana. Strangely, it wasn't that bad! Nor did it seem that long....thanks to Ipod.

Yeah. So, there's really only one thing I can say:

Yikes.

There's about 1300 of us set up in a tent camp in the St. Bernard Parish...one of, if not THE, worst hit part of the city. I can honestly say that I've never seen anything like it. I was utterly shocked when I first crossed over the bridge and this is only the beginning. Hopefully, I'll get some good pictures without offending anyone...I'm sure you've seen it all before..and folks...they weren't kidding.

I checked in and started wandering around camp hoping to find some general direction...I found the registration tent and gave them my appropriate paper work. Apparently, I filled it out extra nice and official-like because the guy behind the table looked a me and said, "Hey...You wanna be a team leader?"

And, of course my response was, "Do I! Oh my God yes! Wait...what does that mean?"

The funny thing is that...he didn't really answer me. He just said, "Ok..fill this out. You're now the official leader of team 4 Black."

Right. Leader. Yup..that's me.

All hail! Please, address me as "Your Highness" or, alternatively, Ms. Leader of All That is Great...that'll work.

So..still..I don't really know what my duties are as "leader"...all I know is that in the general orientation, every time a question would come up, the orienteer would answer, "Ask your team leader...tell your team leader...your leader will know what to do..."

Um. I will?

For example:

Q: What do I do if I find and electrical wire that may be live?

A: Consult your team leader...they will be informed on the procedure.

Q: So, if we find any snakes or rats...what should we do?

A: Your leader will know what to do...the vermin will be killed...by some direction or delegation of the leader.

Q: If my first born child unexpectedly leaps from the womb...what should I do?

A: Immediately relinquish the infant to your leader...all children, or pets if one is infertile, from this point on are the property of the leader.

So...you get the gist.

I'm sure I'll figure it out...I always seem to...or, just give up...it's always one or the other...

As for camp, it's...interesting. I'll be bunking 11 other women in an army tent for the next six days. Some of them are on my team others are not. On the upside, the tents are air-conditioned, light, and have electrical outlets. On the downside...um, I'm sleeping next to 11 other women. Not really sure how it'll go. The cots are squeaky and I'm a light sleeper...hoping for the best...AND (boys, close your eyes if you don't want to think about cooties and girl things)...I'm going to be experiencing the next few days with my monthly visitor! Yay!!! Who could ask for more? Not me, no siiiiiirrrrriie!

Did I mention that 1) there's nothin' but Port-o-lets with foot-pump controlled sinks (san soap, of course) for wash-up and 2) I was stupid and didn't pay attention to my "supplies"...and not exactly sure where the nearest, functioning store is...stupid, stupid, stupid!!!

But, I've dealt with worse..so, no biggie.

Continuing about camp....I've kinda figured out that it's like College Co-ed Spring Break '06 supervised by our federal government...I keep expecting FEMA to order those rambunctious ultimate frisbee players to about face, salute and run a mile...while they're at it...

I've already been reprimanded once for not properly displaying my ID badge...I tried to tell the FEMA man that the only reason it wasn't around my neck was because I had my giant backpack on...and another bag to boot...and that I didn't want to strangle myself, but I kept it handy...hanging out of one of bag's pockets..

He was like, "Sooooo....keep it here (pointing at my right hand)...let it dangle from your fingers...it needs to be ON you at all times!"

Sure enough...lesson learned.

Thus...day one. Well, it's still not over yet...but, internet will be up by tomorrow morning (Monday)...so, anyway you look at it your reading time line will be skewed..right?

Oh. And as for pictures of camp...no can do. Cameras and recording devices are STRICKLY prohibited. Sucks. I wanted to show you guys Camp Premier!...yes...this is it's name...officially.

Til I get something good....