Austin's Lesbo BBQ

So, I just stumbled up on this news story:

Suspect Sought in New Bedford Bar Shooting


This story hits a little close to home, because that's where I was staying this past summer. New Bedford is hardly the bustling city it used to be...I'd say it's actually pretty depressing. It's filled with projects and drug addicts that are pushed out of Boston to find cheaper living...it's even more sad, because along side of the social nastiness, there's a good deal of history about a city that used to be full of economic and cultural activity.

....and if my grandfather were still alive and working, he'd likely be the judge to hear this case when it comes to trial..that is, if the ever catch this guy (which, I'm sure they will...because he doesn't sound like he's intelligent enough to come up with a fool-proof murder plan...)

Every time I ended up in downtown New Bedford, the line from Morrissey's "Everyday is Like Sunday" went through my head...this is the seaside town that they forgot to bomb...come Armageddon, come...

Even the kids that I worked along side of at the restaurant felt that they were beginning a life of despair...being trapped, with no way out, in a city that offered very few opportunities for rewarding careers or social activities beyond getting high and, apparently, assaulting gay people.

In general, I found that the east coast was not a liberal as most people make it out to be...I got more of a "live and let live" feeling out of my whole experience...most people seemed to follow traditional gender roles and careers and ideologies about their lives, but didn't really seem to care so much about what other people should be doing. And, in my opinion, if all of American had this attitude, we'd all be a lot happier.

And, when I was there, I was breaking a bit of a traditional gender role...I was really the only female cook that worked in the kitchen during peak times...if I had to guess, I'd say it took about a month to get the other guys to give me any respect. I had several ask me what I thought I was doing back in the kitchen and why I wasn't out on the floor with the rest of the girls...and, honestly, when I was looking for a job, that's what I was hoping to do! But, the owner didn't have a place for me, and I told him I'd do anything that'd bring me a paycheck.

About half-way into the season, I told the head chef...in the context of a discussion we were having...that I was gay. He didn't give any out-of-the-ordinary reaction...he was just like, "Oh...that's cool."

I wasn't expecting any reaction...or, really, anything at all...but, next thing I know, I was enduring plenty of snickers and jokes from the other kitchen guys. Whatev. Their jokes were far from insulting because they were so juvenile coming out of the mouth of 27 year-olds....it was easy enough to just role my eyes...I mean, if you're going to try to get to me, you have to be a lot more snappy than "So..Mel..whhhaa's ya gurlfriend?" How exactly is that funny? I don't know..but they all seem to get a 7th grade kick out of it.

Anyway, I was trying to get to the point of saying...it doesn't surprise me that much that something like this happened in New Bedford. After they get of high school...if they even graduate, which many don't...most of them realize that they're stuck in a dead-end town and get pretty angsty. And when adults get angsty, many tend to blame other people...and then some even like to take action on their perceived oppressors...

It escapes me beyond words why anyone would want to physically hurt another person based solely on sexual preference. Then again, I'm not the type to physically want to hurt people in general...the exception being for anyone who may personally harm me or someone I care about...and, luckily, this doesn't come around very often.

But, I'm lucky...I have an education...and I knew my stay in the New Bedford area was temporary. I actually had a couple of opportunities to stay up there. Two of the women I worked with at the restaurant offered me a cheap place to live. I could've stayed at the restaurant indefinitely...my boss ended up liking me o.k. (after his outspoken initial doubts...not much different from the rest of the guys)...and it would've been a quick ticket out of Austin.

It was just the feeling I got from that area that didn't settle well with me. I would've been hard pressed to find anyone that I shared any similar interests with (e.g.-anything besides drug use)...in fact, I didn't meet anyone that I was interested in being friends with the entire time I was there (I mean in New Bedford area, QP was the sole exception and she's a Connecticuteer)...

So, there we have it. Depressing news from a depressing city.