12.19.2005
Let's get ready to Rumball!!!!!
Man, the things that a little bit of pent up annoyances will get me to do...
There's another thing about Chrismer I forgot to mention....it's the time a year where all the bad things that DIDN'T happen to me during the rest of the year get together and scheme*....secretly...and then they hide in the shadows and wait for just the right moment to spring into action!
...and I believe the Mel-a-rific Karma-hunting season has begun.
Today, I worked nice and hard only to find at the end of the day that I had lost all my tips and gas money somewhere along the way...I walked out of work with $1, so basically, I PAID to work today...now THAT's some good times!
I took the long way home...stopped off to buy a six-pack, although I don't usually do this when I don't make much money, and tried to naturally relax myself before diving into the beer...because, there's nothing I could do about this...it was my accident and it happens (luckily, not very often)..as sucky as it is.
So, I make it home, crack open one of my beers and sit down to (as Tiny says..) "breath in God, breath out anxiety"...and, next thing I know, a repetitive and HIGHLY annoying noise is loudly penetrating the walls of my house and directly into my ears...thrashing it's way into my brain...poking at the "lose it!" region of my grey matter...
I walked out my front door to casually to investigate...and found pretty much what I expected....a dumbfuck in the apartment complex across the street with his super-cool, kustomized Honda racing in-between the complex's parking lots...he would pull out of one lot, floor it, and then peel into the other one....AND to make things even more annoying, he had one of those Flowmaster things on his exhaust...
MY GOD! HIS KOOLNESS IS UNSURPRASSABLE!
He did this about four times...only one of which I saw, the other's I just heard (not to mention, the number of times it's woken me up in the middle of the night)...and, before he had a chance to reverse it and do it again, I had made my way across the street and was leaning into his car window...
The conversation was pretty much one-sided:
Me: "Hey. Is that really necessary?"
Super-kool Guy: "Uh...what?"
Me: "That shit you keep doing...it's really FUCKING annoying...and, dangerous...there are people around here that have animals that run around outside and kids in the complex..AND it's just stupid. I know YOU think it's cool...but, guess what...it's not, ok?"
Super-kool Guy: "Uh. Ok."
Me: "AND...if I hear it again, I'm going to call the cops...I don't think they'll think it's cool either."
Super-kool Guy: "Ok."
He had a few of his cronies with him...one was video-taping the pure entertainment! that is watching your friend race between parking lots that are 15 feet apart...oh yeah, and these peeps were probably around my age if not just a couple years younger...seriously...get a fucking life...
So, I walked back across the street to my house and my next-door neighbor (um, the non-squatters) came out and said, "We (meaning her and the husband) saw you walk across the street and were like, 'Wow! She's a badass! I can't believe she's going over there!"...I responded with, "Well, I'm just sick of their shit...it's annoying...and they sometimes do it late at night...and their going to kill a cat one of these days...basically, it's just stupid and and I want it to stop."...
Of course, she agreed...it's been bugging them too...as I'm sure it's been bugging lots of people on the block...
But, why would she think I'm a badass for doing what I did? Well, probably because I live in the ghetto...and if these cock-lickers are bored and dumb enough to be racing in parking lots, they're probably not above retaliation. I'm sure you won't have to hold your breath too long for the post about my truck's slashed tires or the firebomb in my living room (...it was pretty obvious what house I walked out of and then back into...)...
But...I really think that, somewhere along the line, I crossed the "lay down and take it" threshold...I'm brazenly fearless of people bigger, stronger, male, older, more powerful or perceivably more dangerous than myself...generally...but, there's always exceptions...strangely, physical appearances don't usually scare me...I'm more likely to be taken down by some sort of mental undermining...
I don't think this makes me a "badass"...if I would have taken a minute to reasonably think about what I was about to do...I probably would've decided that it wasn't worth starting a war over...but, at the same time, what he was doing was STUPID and pointless...I did that kind of shit when I was SIXTEEN...and, somehow, we managed to find parking lots to race in, rather than pissing off the neighborhood...I mean, come on...I want to know if he really thought that he wouldn't eventually bug somebody with his fuckwit antics....
Who knows...I'm hoping the rest of the Chrismer season perks up in the joy department...
*in previous years, my house or car have been burglarized...or I end up in the emergency room due to random injuries...or somebody dies...it's always something...
There's another thing about Chrismer I forgot to mention....it's the time a year where all the bad things that DIDN'T happen to me during the rest of the year get together and scheme*....secretly...and then they hide in the shadows and wait for just the right moment to spring into action!
...and I believe the Mel-a-rific Karma-hunting season has begun.
Today, I worked nice and hard only to find at the end of the day that I had lost all my tips and gas money somewhere along the way...I walked out of work with $1, so basically, I PAID to work today...now THAT's some good times!
I took the long way home...stopped off to buy a six-pack, although I don't usually do this when I don't make much money, and tried to naturally relax myself before diving into the beer...because, there's nothing I could do about this...it was my accident and it happens (luckily, not very often)..as sucky as it is.
So, I make it home, crack open one of my beers and sit down to (as Tiny says..) "breath in God, breath out anxiety"...and, next thing I know, a repetitive and HIGHLY annoying noise is loudly penetrating the walls of my house and directly into my ears...thrashing it's way into my brain...poking at the "lose it!" region of my grey matter...
I walked out my front door to casually to investigate...and found pretty much what I expected....a dumbfuck in the apartment complex across the street with his super-cool, kustomized Honda racing in-between the complex's parking lots...he would pull out of one lot, floor it, and then peel into the other one....AND to make things even more annoying, he had one of those Flowmaster things on his exhaust...
MY GOD! HIS KOOLNESS IS UNSURPRASSABLE!
He did this about four times...only one of which I saw, the other's I just heard (not to mention, the number of times it's woken me up in the middle of the night)...and, before he had a chance to reverse it and do it again, I had made my way across the street and was leaning into his car window...
The conversation was pretty much one-sided:
Me: "Hey. Is that really necessary?"
Super-kool Guy: "Uh...what?"
Me: "That shit you keep doing...it's really FUCKING annoying...and, dangerous...there are people around here that have animals that run around outside and kids in the complex..AND it's just stupid. I know YOU think it's cool...but, guess what...it's not, ok?"
Super-kool Guy: "Uh. Ok."
Me: "AND...if I hear it again, I'm going to call the cops...I don't think they'll think it's cool either."
Super-kool Guy: "Ok."
He had a few of his cronies with him...one was video-taping the pure entertainment! that is watching your friend race between parking lots that are 15 feet apart...oh yeah, and these peeps were probably around my age if not just a couple years younger...seriously...get a fucking life...
So, I walked back across the street to my house and my next-door neighbor (um, the non-squatters) came out and said, "We (meaning her and the husband) saw you walk across the street and were like, 'Wow! She's a badass! I can't believe she's going over there!"...I responded with, "Well, I'm just sick of their shit...it's annoying...and they sometimes do it late at night...and their going to kill a cat one of these days...basically, it's just stupid and and I want it to stop."...
Of course, she agreed...it's been bugging them too...as I'm sure it's been bugging lots of people on the block...
But, why would she think I'm a badass for doing what I did? Well, probably because I live in the ghetto...and if these cock-lickers are bored and dumb enough to be racing in parking lots, they're probably not above retaliation. I'm sure you won't have to hold your breath too long for the post about my truck's slashed tires or the firebomb in my living room (...it was pretty obvious what house I walked out of and then back into...)...
But...I really think that, somewhere along the line, I crossed the "lay down and take it" threshold...I'm brazenly fearless of people bigger, stronger, male, older, more powerful or perceivably more dangerous than myself...generally...but, there's always exceptions...strangely, physical appearances don't usually scare me...I'm more likely to be taken down by some sort of mental undermining...
I don't think this makes me a "badass"...if I would have taken a minute to reasonably think about what I was about to do...I probably would've decided that it wasn't worth starting a war over...but, at the same time, what he was doing was STUPID and pointless...I did that kind of shit when I was SIXTEEN...and, somehow, we managed to find parking lots to race in, rather than pissing off the neighborhood...I mean, come on...I want to know if he really thought that he wouldn't eventually bug somebody with his fuckwit antics....
Who knows...I'm hoping the rest of the Chrismer season perks up in the joy department...
*in previous years, my house or car have been burglarized...or I end up in the emergency room due to random injuries...or somebody dies...it's always something...
Comments:
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What is it with shitty neighbors? Some people just think the world is their playground and everyone else be damned, I guess.
First off, your cahones giganticas are most impressive. I'm glad you went over and told Dumbass to quit racing around the parking lot. You should have added that he wasted a pretty penny trying to make up for his small penis by tricking out his lame car. "Oooo! Look at me! I put a giant spoiler on my mom's old Honda! Oooo!" Don't ya just wanna smack people like that?
Second, I'm sorry you lost your tips. Looks like Shitstorm '05 has headed your way. Put on your galoshes and brace yourself. A bright spot? Perhaps Al Roker's gonna take another spill! (Remember that dumbass fell on-air during Katrina? Perhaps he'll tumble [again] for ya!)
Third, you gotta pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and start all over again. Besides, we'll be chillin' soon! I hope that NYE will prove to be a relaxing and enjoyable break for you. See you soon!
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First off, your cahones giganticas are most impressive. I'm glad you went over and told Dumbass to quit racing around the parking lot. You should have added that he wasted a pretty penny trying to make up for his small penis by tricking out his lame car. "Oooo! Look at me! I put a giant spoiler on my mom's old Honda! Oooo!" Don't ya just wanna smack people like that?
Second, I'm sorry you lost your tips. Looks like Shitstorm '05 has headed your way. Put on your galoshes and brace yourself. A bright spot? Perhaps Al Roker's gonna take another spill! (Remember that dumbass fell on-air during Katrina? Perhaps he'll tumble [again] for ya!)
Third, you gotta pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and start all over again. Besides, we'll be chillin' soon! I hope that NYE will prove to be a relaxing and enjoyable break for you. See you soon!
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