11.10.2005
You know you're finished when pork-product takes over the stage and steals the show...
So, I made it to Houston...despite one of my most memorable and worst hangovers...and had a gay ol' time at the dentist this morning.
There's been a number of things on my mind lately, but I'd like to take some time to discuss one of the more important issues that we all face today: The McRib Farewell Tour 2005.
The McRib is back, and as I've always feared, it may be our last chance to indulge in the savory and swarthy, boneless, pork-rib-shaped meat product. Somebody must be McFucking with me! I don't know what I'll McDo if I can't eat bones formed from processed meat! Maybe it's some kind of McJoke...
Yeah...so, I always tried to eat as many McRibs as I can stomach each time the elusive sandwich makes an appearance...I've been on a bit of a health kick lately, so I'm not really sure I can do more than 3 or 4 during this tour...and I'm not scared by their McMarketing tactics...the only reason to have a big and flashy "Farewell Tour" is to have an even more colossal and gaudier reunion tour, a la Jefferson Starship (check out their wicked hot, galactic tour destinations!)
In fact, I think Jefferson Starship should join forces with the McRib...Marty Balin (because Gracie Slick still hangs her head in much-deserved shame) could launch a million pork sandwiches into space during the final encore of "We Built this City"...
Imagine, if you will, a fatal error made at the last minute...the McSpacepod explodes showering hundreds of pounds of pickles, bbq sauce, onions, buns and mystery meat over the crowd of 24...audience members run for cover under other audience member's parachute pants...both Starship AND McRib are banned from returning to East Rutherford, New Jersey...FOR-EVA!
Nah. That'll never happen.
There's been a number of things on my mind lately, but I'd like to take some time to discuss one of the more important issues that we all face today: The McRib Farewell Tour 2005.
The McRib is back, and as I've always feared, it may be our last chance to indulge in the savory and swarthy, boneless, pork-rib-shaped meat product. Somebody must be McFucking with me! I don't know what I'll McDo if I can't eat bones formed from processed meat! Maybe it's some kind of McJoke...
Yeah...so, I always tried to eat as many McRibs as I can stomach each time the elusive sandwich makes an appearance...I've been on a bit of a health kick lately, so I'm not really sure I can do more than 3 or 4 during this tour...and I'm not scared by their McMarketing tactics...the only reason to have a big and flashy "Farewell Tour" is to have an even more colossal and gaudier reunion tour, a la Jefferson Starship (check out their wicked hot, galactic tour destinations!)
In fact, I think Jefferson Starship should join forces with the McRib...Marty Balin (because Gracie Slick still hangs her head in much-deserved shame) could launch a million pork sandwiches into space during the final encore of "We Built this City"...
Imagine, if you will, a fatal error made at the last minute...the McSpacepod explodes showering hundreds of pounds of pickles, bbq sauce, onions, buns and mystery meat over the crowd of 24...audience members run for cover under other audience member's parachute pants...both Starship AND McRib are banned from returning to East Rutherford, New Jersey...FOR-EVA!
Nah. That'll never happen.
Comments:
<< Home
I never realized your affinity for McMeat would inspire a Jefferson Starship fantasy sequence...
Good times.
Good times.
You know, tiny...me either.
My high school English teacher would be proud of my firm grasp on the "stream of consciousness" method of writing.
My high school English teacher would be proud of my firm grasp on the "stream of consciousness" method of writing.
Not to be rude (o.k., I'm just rude, I admit it) but Jefferson Starship's tour sucks. Just the first line that I read that stated "all venues subject to change until the day after and then we use the wayback machine" made me want to vomit. And then eat that vomit and re-vomit.
I don't know why I've been so graphic lately. Must be the seductive and vomit-inducing power of the McRib.
Vomitally yours,
The Booklahver
I don't know why I've been so graphic lately. Must be the seductive and vomit-inducing power of the McRib.
Vomitally yours,
The Booklahver
# posted by 
: 12:31 PM
: 12:31 PM
Yes. I not even sure "sucks" is a strong enough word. I think we should coin our own term for sucking, maybe JEFFERSUCKONIA?
"DARBY and DIANA have now teamed up for nine shows with many more on the way. Their "Hyperdrive" is one of the great performances to EVER come out of the annals of JEFFERSONIA"
"DARBY and DIANA have now teamed up for nine shows with many more on the way. Their "Hyperdrive" is one of the great performances to EVER come out of the annals of JEFFERSONIA"
Anyone named 'Darby' deserves to be slapped around just on principle. That's about the most un-rock-n-roll name ever.
Although Jeff-Starship wasn't all that rock-n-roll to begin with. Perhaps they can call REO Speedwagon and have a good cry about it?
Post a Comment
Although Jeff-Starship wasn't all that rock-n-roll to begin with. Perhaps they can call REO Speedwagon and have a good cry about it?
<< Home
