Austin's Lesbo BBQ

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to climb inside a giant satellite dish and fall asleep? Really?

Weirdo.

I think there's probably a good chance that you could stay there for a while without anyone knowing...and maybe when you woke up, you would be filled with the knowledge of ALL the television programming that was transmitted during your sweet, sweet slumber...just think...every single infomercial about how to clean/eat/loose weight/make money/exist effortlessly...the History Channel could provide you with 22 different perspectives on Nazi Germany...AND, let's not forget...enough Three's Company re-runs for even the nuttiest Suzanne Sommers stalker.

This was my thought as I drove home tonight...well, this and what it would be like to hang billboards for a living...but, I tried to push that thought out as quick as possible because I have a history of making these kinds of absurdities reality...but, seriously...there's nothing absurd about hanging billboards...somebody has to do it. I should just make it a point to meet this
person rather than become them.

Sigh.

What have I been doing lately? That's not a rhetorical question. Really...if you could tell me I might be less confused...or even more confused due to YOU knowing what I'VE been doing while I seem to have no clue...

So...yeah. Since I hurt my feet last week in the mysterious "too old to break out in sprints" injury, I haven't been working very much...it follows the ancient flow chart of : hurt-->no work-->no money-->desperation-->selling plasma-->selling complimentary shot of donor orange juice-->dumpster diving

Right...I sense a bit of melodrama here...I mean, why would I go from selling plasma to dumpster diving when obviously I'd have money after the sale of my bodily fluids...Jesus.

In reality, I'm trying to use the down time to actually allow my feet to heal...sometime before Thursday, I'll be on the road to Houston again filled with joy over having the rest of my teeth drilled and a real crown (as much fun as having a piece of molded plastic in my mouth is...) put in. Yay dental hygiene...remember kids, the dentist isn't just telling you to floss because he likes to watch you bleed...

This trip should be particularly fun. So, there may be a few of you out there that don't know this yet, but I came out to my father last month. Yes, yes...this happened during a blog lapse...and, actually, it's a pretty good story...nothing violent or life shattering...but a good story that requires a space of its own...

ANYWAY...although I went through the emotionally-trying steps of talking to my father, I decided that I didn't really want to talk to my step-mother...I let dad do that for me. So, basically, I haven't seen her or talked to her since she found out the "news"...but, before I left, she did corner me and give me the spiel about the "real world" and how people are judged according to their appearances...Ok. That's almost another story that I'm too tired to tell right now, but I will say that I had some stuff to say for myself there as well...

So, I have this feeling that when I get there on Wednesday that I might have to endure several efforts to "straight-ify" me...one of which, I hope, includes a trip to the mall! I think the most extreme de-queering attempt I might face is a possible match-making session (Oh...pish posh...you just haven't had the right boy sweep you off your feet yet! )...or, on the other end of the spectrum, there may just be no talk at all...but, hey, the hardest part is seriously out of the way and I feel like I could pretty much do anything now...and I mean that...ANYTHING.

Right then...best hop to it.