6.01.2005
Round 2: FIGHT!
I've finally decided it was about time for me to take the "walk of shame" back here.
I've read the comments to my last post, because they're emailed to me...but, other than that, I didn't want to see it. I was stupid drunk on Thursday night and that usually leads to melodramatic posts...
Mostly I'm just suprised by the clarity of these rants...about the only thing I can't figure out, after re-reading what I put up on Thursday, is my tendency to gain a split personality and get into scrappy bouts with myself. I need to name this surly other half....
On a lighter note...I'm haven't really been in a "complete" mood in the past couple of days. I've been doing everything in spurts...most notably, thinking. So, in order to commemorate the past couple of days, I'm going to give to you:
Completely Unrelated Spurts of Stuff:
1. New favorite quote by co-worker who previously brought us the "Music Nazi" quote:
Me: "That's good Jada. I think you should say just that at the interview....no need for a resume."
I wish I could claim to be the originator of these quotes.......wait.......no I don't.
2. On Sunday, I decided that I am going to write a story when I'm away this summer...somehow, I'm going to loosely base it/tie it in with the six lines of lyrics in Badly Drawn Boy's "Fall in a River" and the city of Fall River, MA. This story will end up being one page long. Nothing happens in Fall River, Massachusetts...and besides, the song REALLY has nothing to do with this place...as far as I know, the only thing that's ever come out of Fall River was Lizzy Bordon...ever the more fun.
3. I bathed my cats today. There's a reason people don't bathe cats...they do it themselves and that's the way theys likes it! Direct evidence of this has been painfully etched into both my arms.
Now, for the next few days, I'm going to be self-conscious that everytime I walk away from a group of people who don't know me that well, they'll be discreetly whispering, "Watch out for that one...she's a cutter!"
4. I HATE June bugs...they go straight for the ears. Always.
5. I do a lot of driving around this town...well, mostly in one general area. Because of this, I repeatedly see things over and over again that get me thinking...most of these things are signs that can, if thought about from a different angles, have ambiguous meanings. SO...I've finally taken some pictures of these signs, and I'm ready to comment on them...here we go:
You're not fooling anyone! I've been by here six times now and you're still yellow, bold and full of deception! Next time, I suggest you think twice before making such a brash declaration about your state of existence.
O.k. Granted, the humor in this one only really hits if you're Catholic. But, when I first saw this sign, I couldn't help but snicker...all I could think was, "Hi! Welcome to Denny's! Today's specials are Moons Over My Hammy, fresh-squeezed carafes of O.J. and the Body of Christ! This way please..." Oh Lord...please grant me the power to fill this lofty position at America's favorite diner.
More than approritate Simpsons' quote: "Mmmmmm...sacralicious"
Personally, I don't think this one needs much explanation. I've always known that the two go hand-in-hand, but I had NO idea that the Salvation Army had dedicated a whole center to deal with this reality.
So, next time Uncle Pete swills all the rum that Grandma intended to put in the eggnog, spirals into a drunken rage and rips open all the matching presents that cousin Cal put together for the kids...and hopefully right before he declares, "It's about fucking time I got that pony I've always wanted...and damn if it won't taste good smmmmutherd in BBQ sauce with a side of mashed potatoes..."
...you can run to the non-profit entity out there that understands.
I've read the comments to my last post, because they're emailed to me...but, other than that, I didn't want to see it. I was stupid drunk on Thursday night and that usually leads to melodramatic posts...
Mostly I'm just suprised by the clarity of these rants...about the only thing I can't figure out, after re-reading what I put up on Thursday, is my tendency to gain a split personality and get into scrappy bouts with myself. I need to name this surly other half....
On a lighter note...I'm haven't really been in a "complete" mood in the past couple of days. I've been doing everything in spurts...most notably, thinking. So, in order to commemorate the past couple of days, I'm going to give to you:
Completely Unrelated Spurts of Stuff:
1. New favorite quote by co-worker who previously brought us the "Music Nazi" quote:
Punk-rawk co-worker: "I have this friend Dan who has this job babysitting. It seems like it's
cool as shit...all he does is take these kids out to Barton Springs and stuff...and he gets paid, like, 10 bucks an hour to do this. I can do that! I could totally babysit the shit out of kids!"
cool as shit...all he does is take these kids out to Barton Springs and stuff...and he gets paid, like, 10 bucks an hour to do this. I can do that! I could totally babysit the shit out of kids!"
Me: "That's good Jada. I think you should say just that at the interview....no need for a resume."
I wish I could claim to be the originator of these quotes.......wait.......no I don't.
2. On Sunday, I decided that I am going to write a story when I'm away this summer...somehow, I'm going to loosely base it/tie it in with the six lines of lyrics in Badly Drawn Boy's "Fall in a River" and the city of Fall River, MA. This story will end up being one page long. Nothing happens in Fall River, Massachusetts...and besides, the song REALLY has nothing to do with this place...as far as I know, the only thing that's ever come out of Fall River was Lizzy Bordon...ever the more fun.
3. I bathed my cats today. There's a reason people don't bathe cats...they do it themselves and that's the way theys likes it! Direct evidence of this has been painfully etched into both my arms.
Now, for the next few days, I'm going to be self-conscious that everytime I walk away from a group of people who don't know me that well, they'll be discreetly whispering, "Watch out for that one...she's a cutter!"
4. I HATE June bugs...they go straight for the ears. Always.
5. I do a lot of driving around this town...well, mostly in one general area. Because of this, I repeatedly see things over and over again that get me thinking...most of these things are signs that can, if thought about from a different angles, have ambiguous meanings. SO...I've finally taken some pictures of these signs, and I'm ready to comment on them...here we go:
You're not fooling anyone! I've been by here six times now and you're still yellow, bold and full of deception! Next time, I suggest you think twice before making such a brash declaration about your state of existence.
O.k. Granted, the humor in this one only really hits if you're Catholic. But, when I first saw this sign, I couldn't help but snicker...all I could think was, "Hi! Welcome to Denny's! Today's specials are Moons Over My Hammy, fresh-squeezed carafes of O.J. and the Body of Christ! This way please..." Oh Lord...please grant me the power to fill this lofty position at America's favorite diner.
More than approritate Simpsons' quote: "Mmmmmm...sacralicious"
Personally, I don't think this one needs much explanation. I've always known that the two go hand-in-hand, but I had NO idea that the Salvation Army had dedicated a whole center to deal with this reality.
So, next time Uncle Pete swills all the rum that Grandma intended to put in the eggnog, spirals into a drunken rage and rips open all the matching presents that cousin Cal put together for the kids...and hopefully right before he declares, "It's about fucking time I got that pony I've always wanted...and damn if it won't taste good smmmmutherd in BBQ sauce with a side of mashed potatoes..."
...you can run to the non-profit entity out there that understands.
6. That's it. I got nothin' else.
Comments:
<< Home
Bathing cats? You are brave. Very brave.
Loved the S.A. pic---Almost as good as my Jesus Coney Island sign. I gotta dig that one back out.
Loved the S.A. pic---Almost as good as my Jesus Coney Island sign. I gotta dig that one back out.
O.k...I just caught up with the last four or five posts. It's not because I haven't been checking...it's because every time I came to your blog, I thought it was blank. Turns out that I just needed to scroll down! Yes, that's one for the ages. Don't leave me, I won't have anyone to hold my hair when I fail to see the obvious again. :(
~The Booklahver
Post a Comment
~The Booklahver
# posted by 
: 8:39 AM
: 8:39 AM << Home
