5.24.2005
Now THAT's high tech!
I was forced to patronize a Kinko's the other day...after spending a few days of keeping my eyes open for a single copy machine somewhere, I finally caved in. Why is it impossible to find a single copy machine anymore? Does anyone else remember the days of 3 cent copies at your local convenience store? Anyway...
I needed to make ONE copy. I approached the clerk at the main counter with a quarter in my hand:
Me: "Hello. I need to make one copy."
Klerk (open-mouthed and looking kind of confused): "Uh...ok. Are you going to be paying cash or credit?"
Me: "Um, cash."
Klerk: "Uh....ok. Well, there's a kiosk over there behind those greeting cards. You can either use cash or credit to put copy credit on a Kinko's card. Or, if you're using credit, you can just swipe your card at the machine."
Me: "Card...right...ok. Thanks."
So, I proceeded over to the kiosk machine and spent my well-earned brain power on figuring out the confounded machine...only to find out that the minimum number of copies that I can purchase for a Kinko's card is 10. Ten? Ten copies? I could purchase this number of copies on a Kinko's card, but when the hell am I going to use them?
I need ONE copy. I have a quarter.
Pushing on...I made my way over to the jumbo, intense copy machines. They were all so scary...and to add to my fear, some of the machines had large, bold signs on them that stated, "WARNING! THIS IS COLOR COPY MACHINE. COPIES ARE $.29 A PIECE."
Whoa. Stay away from those mothers!
So, I cautiously made my way to another machine that would hopefully let me copy with a bit less admonishment. I finally found one of these machines and I started searching its outer casing for one of those holes that lets you put money into it...what are those things called? Coin slots? But, as the klerk told me earlier, I can either purchase a fucking Kinko's card or use my credit card at the machine.
At this point, I had reached the pinnacle of my frustration...I swiped my bank card in the machine and finally made the ONE copy that I needed. I put the quarter back in my pocket and left the establishment.
This evening, I checked the status of my bank account online. The charge from Kinko's had finally been posted...8 cents. I had used my Visa Check card to make an 8 cent purchase. I know for a fact that the transaction fees that Kinko's paid in order to allow me to use my check card cost them more than 8 cents.
But, really, it was the convenience I was paying for, not the copy.
I'm not really sure if this counts as irony or not, but the copy...that I so desperately needed to make...was of my previous months' pay stubs. I had to prove to the government that, at this time, I'm too poor to pay back my student loans.
In reality, I guess this doesn't count as irony. But, deep down inside I was sort of hoping that this transaction would overdraw my bank account. It didn't, of course...
I needed to make ONE copy. I approached the clerk at the main counter with a quarter in my hand:
Me: "Hello. I need to make one copy."
Klerk (open-mouthed and looking kind of confused): "Uh...ok. Are you going to be paying cash or credit?"
Me: "Um, cash."
Klerk: "Uh....ok. Well, there's a kiosk over there behind those greeting cards. You can either use cash or credit to put copy credit on a Kinko's card. Or, if you're using credit, you can just swipe your card at the machine."
Me: "Card...right...ok. Thanks."
So, I proceeded over to the kiosk machine and spent my well-earned brain power on figuring out the confounded machine...only to find out that the minimum number of copies that I can purchase for a Kinko's card is 10. Ten? Ten copies? I could purchase this number of copies on a Kinko's card, but when the hell am I going to use them?
I need ONE copy. I have a quarter.
Pushing on...I made my way over to the jumbo, intense copy machines. They were all so scary...and to add to my fear, some of the machines had large, bold signs on them that stated, "WARNING! THIS IS COLOR COPY MACHINE. COPIES ARE $.29 A PIECE."
Whoa. Stay away from those mothers!
So, I cautiously made my way to another machine that would hopefully let me copy with a bit less admonishment. I finally found one of these machines and I started searching its outer casing for one of those holes that lets you put money into it...what are those things called? Coin slots? But, as the klerk told me earlier, I can either purchase a fucking Kinko's card or use my credit card at the machine.
At this point, I had reached the pinnacle of my frustration...I swiped my bank card in the machine and finally made the ONE copy that I needed. I put the quarter back in my pocket and left the establishment.
This evening, I checked the status of my bank account online. The charge from Kinko's had finally been posted...8 cents. I had used my Visa Check card to make an 8 cent purchase. I know for a fact that the transaction fees that Kinko's paid in order to allow me to use my check card cost them more than 8 cents.
But, really, it was the convenience I was paying for, not the copy.
I'm not really sure if this counts as irony or not, but the copy...that I so desperately needed to make...was of my previous months' pay stubs. I had to prove to the government that, at this time, I'm too poor to pay back my student loans.
In reality, I guess this doesn't count as irony. But, deep down inside I was sort of hoping that this transaction would overdraw my bank account. It didn't, of course...
