Austin's Lesbo BBQ

Soon it will come...soon.

I'm about to embark on a personal journey filled with exploration of the unknown, self-discovery and adventure. Lives will be changed...history will be rewritten...and small children will regular stay up past 8 p.m.

But first, I have to set out on a less universe-altering trip...I'm going to Houston! Yeeeeehaaawww!

This is the weekend of that Pagan ritual that was conveniently taken over by the Christians for the purpose of rabbit exploitation...and something about the son of God...I don't know. Geez...crazy Christians.

My family, along with many others in the world, seem to think that this particular Sunday is an appropriate time to partake in this bunny injustice and to also eat prime rib. Jesus would be proud.

I think it's a great weekend to get out of town, be fed prime rib and sit on the couch and drink beer as my step mother details the giant wound I inflict on my family by refusing to attend church. It's the same thing every year...

Me: "It's not that I don't respect Jesus and his ultimate sacrifice for the purging of our sins...I just don't like THAT church."

Whiney Step Mother: "Well, if you had any respect for your father and his wishes you come with us."

Me: "Yeah. Then I'd just be another body in that ridiculously over-crowded church spending the entire mass plotting on how to get the light reflection from my watch to hit the Eucharist right at the moment of transubstantiation."

Whiney Step Mother: "You can do that?"

As you can see, this plays out and it always ends up the same way...everyone else goes to church and I stay home and eat chocolate...cuz you see, me and Jesus, we'z tight...and ain't no bunny gonna say no different.