1.21.2005
What the world needs now is a new kind of tension...'cause the old one just bores me to death*
Once again, I'm posting some rants that would have been more appropriately posted a few weeks ago. But, if anyone is keeping score, I suggest you stop. There are better things to apply your energy towards.
Anyway...I present to you:
Stuff that is no longer funny, affective, hip and/or necessary for 2005...and should really, really go away:
1. ANYTHING that is a take off of that goddamn "Got Milk?" ad campaign. For example: "Got Bunions?", "Got Soil?", "Got Jesus?".... I saw a guy sitting in the H.E.B. pharmacy today with a "Got Beer?" hat on...I had to use every last ounce of my self-restraint to keep myself from approching this guy and saying, "You know...that's just not funny. I don't think it ever was. Ever."
2. Anybody who pipes in with "Can you hear me now? Good!" after hearing someone else say "Can you hear me?"...as if dealing with crappy cell phone service wasn't enough.
3. Moronic comments made in elevators directed towards the pizza delivery person. Including: "Hey, I was wondering where that yummy smell was coming from!", "You'd better watch out, 'cause I'm pretty hungry...", and my all time favorite "Oh...Follow me, that's going to my office...huh, just kidding." That last one really gets me because, for fuck's sake, I don't know who I'm delivering to! I fall for it every time.
By the way, I'm not uncomfortable waiting in silence for my floor to arrive...what do you have to say for yourself?
4. Bands that try to look and/or sound like The Strokes or Franz Ferdinand who are not The Strokes or Franz Ferdinand.
5. Magnetic ribbon car decal thingys. I'm not sure if an impulse buy at the local Walgreens qualifies support. Do your part! Make sure that you declare all your magnetic standings on the back of your Toyota Sienna...somehow I feel that if these decals were permanent stickers rather than removable magnets, there'd be far less visible support for all these causes.
Maybe I'm being insensitive...but...
Props to Mary for sending me this very thoughtful and completely appropriate post card...and Mary, you'll never know my last name...teachers, friends, family and the government have been struggling for the past 96 years...join the party.
*Yeah. Cracker's "Teen Angst"...That song has some of the best words ever put to music...outside of Will Smith's "Gettin' Jiggy With It", of course.
Anyway...I present to you:
Stuff that is no longer funny, affective, hip and/or necessary for 2005...and should really, really go away:
1. ANYTHING that is a take off of that goddamn "Got Milk?" ad campaign. For example: "Got Bunions?", "Got Soil?", "Got Jesus?".... I saw a guy sitting in the H.E.B. pharmacy today with a "Got Beer?" hat on...I had to use every last ounce of my self-restraint to keep myself from approching this guy and saying, "You know...that's just not funny. I don't think it ever was. Ever."
2. Anybody who pipes in with "Can you hear me now? Good!" after hearing someone else say "Can you hear me?"...as if dealing with crappy cell phone service wasn't enough.
3. Moronic comments made in elevators directed towards the pizza delivery person. Including: "Hey, I was wondering where that yummy smell was coming from!", "You'd better watch out, 'cause I'm pretty hungry...", and my all time favorite "Oh...Follow me, that's going to my office...huh, just kidding." That last one really gets me because, for fuck's sake, I don't know who I'm delivering to! I fall for it every time.
By the way, I'm not uncomfortable waiting in silence for my floor to arrive...what do you have to say for yourself?
4. Bands that try to look and/or sound like The Strokes or Franz Ferdinand who are not The Strokes or Franz Ferdinand.
5. Magnetic ribbon car decal thingys. I'm not sure if an impulse buy at the local Walgreens qualifies support. Do your part! Make sure that you declare all your magnetic standings on the back of your Toyota Sienna...somehow I feel that if these decals were permanent stickers rather than removable magnets, there'd be far less visible support for all these causes.
Maybe I'm being insensitive...but...
Props to Mary for sending me this very thoughtful and completely appropriate post card...and Mary, you'll never know my last name...teachers, friends, family and the government have been struggling for the past 96 years...join the party.
*Yeah. Cracker's "Teen Angst"...That song has some of the best words ever put to music...outside of Will Smith's "Gettin' Jiggy With It", of course.
Comments:
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I'm so glad you liked the postcard!! Huzzah! As far as the last name thing: I suppose I will have to just put last names of famous people that I think you might want to have a relationship with. It's more fun anyway.
Those pizza delivery comments must be horrible. I can't imagine having to put up with asinine shit like that...actually I kind of can because I used to have a "Have a Nice Day" patch on my backpack and people would say that to me and I thought they were being nice..but they were just being jerks. I always fell for that one too.
As far as the decals...yeah, they are passe just like rubber "support this cause" bracelets. I'm surprised that wasn't on your list.
Have a nice day, really.
~The Booklahver
Those pizza delivery comments must be horrible. I can't imagine having to put up with asinine shit like that...actually I kind of can because I used to have a "Have a Nice Day" patch on my backpack and people would say that to me and I thought they were being nice..but they were just being jerks. I always fell for that one too.
As far as the decals...yeah, they are passe just like rubber "support this cause" bracelets. I'm surprised that wasn't on your list.
Have a nice day, really.
~The Booklahver
# posted by 
: 10:20 AM
: 10:20 AM 
what if I think Franz Ferdinand sounds like The Strokes (who sound like a bunch of bands from the New Wave era)? are there any new sounds left? I mean, we've already gone through the whole "sampling" phase of music (actually it's still going on) and new bands sound like old bands....
is rock dead? where's the Next Nirvana when you need it?
ALSO: I think you should carry a use a makeshift knife, or shiv, and cut out the bitch's eyes when harrassed on a delivery. Just because you're completely adorable doesn't mean office dorks can mess with you when you're working. Huzzah! (--that last cry stolen from Mary)
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is rock dead? where's the Next Nirvana when you need it?
ALSO: I think you should carry a use a makeshift knife, or shiv, and cut out the bitch's eyes when harrassed on a delivery. Just because you're completely adorable doesn't mean office dorks can mess with you when you're working. Huzzah! (--that last cry stolen from Mary)
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