Austin's Lesbo BBQ

Have you ever thought that you were going crazy and then realized that you're far too rational to be considered psychotic...but then wished that you actually were losing it, because it would make a lot more sense?

Yes. Daily.

Everyone's with me, right?

Don't get me wrong...I'm not being insensitive to people with actual mental conditions. But, when you think about it, at least these people know what's fucking them up. Medications and therapy can be had...it comes down to one thing: solutions.

Damn. I want some of those...are the generic being prescribed yet?

I've also had my qualms with the women's liberation movement lately. If it weren't for all those independent thinking, rabble-rousing women of our past, I would be quite satisfied with finding a suitable* husband, perfecting a variety of loaves and watching my bow and knicker adorned kin play in the yard.

But, NO...I have to be presented all these "choices" on a silver platter...career, self-reliance, sexuality, smoking or non-smoking, aisle or window.... Gah. Now I actually have to WORK to make myself a complete person.

I could be more realistic about my issues and distribute the blame appropriately... starting with Jennifer and Brad for shattering my faith in the sanctity of marriage...or my cats for repeatedly waking me up at 5 a.m. and making me cranky with their production of the Kitty Indie 500...or my slightly bent car key for insisting on the use of creative jiggling to get into my truuuuuuck.

Needless to say, I have to blame someone or something...I can't actually accept that I might have something to do with it...

*100,000K+ per year, advanced college degree, striking good looks, and the type of social charisma that keeps a cocktail party going ALL NIGHT LONG.