Austin's Lesbo BBQ

It was all in my head. There's no urination happening behind my desk. I'd tell you what it ended up being, but the smell went away....lost to the ages.

So deep, so very deep.

On another level all together...I've felt very (and I'll grant myself the permission to make up a word) dishuman today. I found out, post an unrewarding lunch time delivery shift that my grandmother died last night. From that point on, I've kinda just felt like I've been floating (this happens frequently, but usually after lots of drinks and 2 hours of sleep).

Of course, the first thing that I did after finding out the news was to desperately mow my lawn as if a Bentley may find itself parked there tomorrow and then subsequently make my way to the Spin Cycle to take care of the often procrastinated task of laundry...I even seriously considered finally taking care of cleaning the years of funk build-up and filth that has taken over my art deco era bathroom. Apparently, all it takes is the death of a significant family member to kick my motivation into high gear.

After my I got my clothes their whitest and brightest, that's when I officially started floating. I realized that I had deal with the fact that I had to jet-set out to Cap Cod the next day. I called work, my brother, my dad and the psychic hotline. Ok...in reality, I didn't call Dionne (although our relationship probably warrants it), but the rest is true. With the exception of work, I didn't actually talk to anyone. This is a good thing, because after talking to my manager at work, I really didn't have much to say.

This all went down while I was patiently waiting to merge into rush hour traffic on Guadalupe. I thought I'd shorten my trip by cutting through 37th street over to Speedway...I don't know if this was a good or bad idea, but it immediately became evident to me that the path I had chosen just so happened to be the locally famous Christmas light street...horray! So wacky, it is, with its light adorned motorcycles and mannequins*...I had painfully gotten myself into the line of gawkers and holiday spirit filled motorists.

At this time I realize that, not only was I so far removed from holiday cheer, but that I was also pissed that the home owners on 37th street would just see me as another slack-jawed townie out for a quick thrill before they ordered pizza and watched I Want A Dog For Christmas, Charlie Brown!**

Ok. I'm being uber-negative. But, what I really meant to say is that I was just feeling so alienated from the outside world...like I was an observer who was simply taking a ride in a human-pod transportation device.

I finished off the night with a much needed alone jaunt to the bar...I must say, as sad as it may seem, it's still so nice to have a place to go where I can sit and be detached and not really be alone. I feel like I could go to this bar and drink nothing but water and still feel like I've taken a load off.

SO...after this long-winded post, I will end it with stating that Janet Jackson's Miss You Much is a great song and that I'll be back on Friday.

Til then...

*there was a point in my Austin days where this street was novel at Christmas time, but now it just manages to get in my way.

**in all my uber-negativity, the only reason I even came up with this program title is because I watched it myself and slightly enjoyed it. Does this count towards my redemtion?