Austin's Lesbo BBQ

Dating is so damn awkward. It can, by no means, be anything natural. Two people, who found each other attractive, back in the day, probably didn't have to go through the process of:

"Hey...my friend thinks you're cute...are you seeing anyone...oh, really?...well, she wants to get your number but, she's a wuss...*oh, hey dude! I'll see you at the party...fuck yeah, bra! That chick will totally be there!* oh yeah, sorry...here's her number...oh, you don't have a pen? well, what's your number then...no, really...I'll remember it...I swear..."

I'm thinking it was more along the lines of:

"You. Me. Let's go...no? You die then. I hunt and gather." OR

"You. Me. Let's go...yes? We make small people. I hunt and gather."

Simplicity is too much to ask for...and, as we all know, makes it less fun! And, obviously, things are especially troublesome when you are the third party that is being discussed.

I, personally, like to express my desires first hand, rather than through another person. I feel too weird actually utilizing a phone number that was acquired for me through another person. Maybe I'm just not "player" enough...I don't know.

I mean, what are you supposed to say when you call the number you aquired from a friend?:

"Hey...waz up. You remember the other night when you were all trashed and you gave your phone number out to that girl you don't know? Yeah. I'm the chick that she gave it to. You wanna hang out or something?"

Ok people. As you might have deduced from the earlier statements...a subtle connection has been made between me and my stalking target...e.g. "the bartender"...a phone number has been gotten...a possible intrest has been expressed...but my actions are hung up in the concerns previously mentioned.

One more night. That's what I'm giving myself. Then actually do it myself...I'll step up and stop being a big baby...what's the worst that can happen anyhow? She'll say "fuck off" and then I'll have to stop going to my bar?

I don't know. I think I'll stick to my mentors: Joan Jett...who taught me most about not givin' a damn about my reputaton; Loverboy, who taught about not givin' a piece of my heart, until they start from the start...and the Spice Girls who taught me that:

Yo! Tell me what you want..what you really really want...I'll tell you what what I really really want...so, I'll tell ya what I really really want...I wanna...I wanna...I wanna...really, really, really wanna zigagig ah! ...If you wanna by my lover, you got to get with my friends, make it last forever...cuz, friendship never ends!